What is a Dating sim?

Unlike typical romance games, dating sims are much more complex, blending storytelling with gameplay mechanics. The distinction? While a romance visual novel offers a linear narrative with a few player choices and branching plotlines, a dating sim introduces design-driven mechanics like stats and time management which influence how the story unfolds, making it a more strategic experience that can be more appealing to players that like more active engagement in games.

"Love Plus" One of Few

Love Plus, a dating simulator by Konami that was released in 2009 exclusively in Japan for the Nintendo DS. You play as a character who has just moved to a new town and is trying to settle into a new school. You meet three different girls, each with unique traits and preferences in a partner. The goal is to "romance" one of them by improving your stats in areas that appeal to her. You plan your day, choosing activities that will increase the stats. As you progress, you'll interact with the girls and get to know them, and after 100 days, if you've developed the right stats and spent enough time with her, she will confess her feelings. If not, the game ends.

Once you successfully romance a girl, the game shifts into what’s called the "Lover" phase. This is where the gameplay becomes real-time. The in-game clock matches the time on your DS or 3DS, allowing you to interact with your "girlfriend" at certain times of the day, plan dates, and celebrate holidays that include gift giving. In later versions like New Love Plus, the game recognizes your face and allows you to use your voice to communicate with the character, during the “lover phase” your girlfriend will change things like hair and clothes according to what you like most. These features were the biggest draws of the game, attracting people who either wanted a virtual relationship or simply enjoyed cute games and dating sims.

The art style of Love Plus is inspired by anime but incorporates slightly more realistic character proportions, a design choice that helps players feel more connected to the characters while maintaining a unique visual identity. The game blends 3D and 2D visuals, creating a distinctive look that sets it apart from other dating sims. Despite the relatively simple character designs, this style works to the game's advantage, making it memorable and visually appealing. Simplicity also makes it easier to produce merchandise and create fan art, which plays a significant role in expanding a game's popularity.

Dating sims in Japan

Love Plus was a moderate success in Japan. Its merchandise would often sell out quickly, and the game's sequels also gained traction. However, during the 90s many popular dating sims including Love Plus and its sequels, remained Japan exclusives. Why is this? The main reason is that dating sims, particularly those targeting men, had a larger audience in Japan. Romance-based entertainment, including anime and manga with romantic subplots had a broad following in Japan, creating an established market for dating sims. According to a research paper Cecilia B-Ikeguchifrom Tsukuba Gakuin University in 2018 by the 90s otaku culture (people that have a major interest in manga, anime and video games) had been around as far as the 60s.

In contrast, Western video games in the '90s were heavily action-focused—guns, explosions, and monsters dominated the scene. Cute anime girls and romance-driven narratives weren't as popular and often deemed as weird or lame especially when dating sims first emerged. In the West, romance was often just a side plot or end goal in games, and the idea of spending hours building a virtual relationship didn't appeal to many players, so companies weren't likely to waste their resources translating games with extensive amounts of text.

Additionally, some of the earliest romance games called “Eroge” contained sexual content with little to no story. Over the years “Eroge” games developed and began including more storytelling and romance, while keeping the sexual content. This created a lot of stigmas during the 90s around Japanese romance games in west and at times caused wide controversy. (Kamyab Ghorbanpour “A comparative study of Japanese and Western adult games” 2022)

Konami, the company behind Love Plus, created one of their first highly successful dating sims, Tokimeki Memorial in 1994, it sold over 1 million copies in Japan and became a landmark title in the dating sim and romance game genre. What made Tokimeki Memorial stand out was its ability to succeed without relying on sexual content. Instead, it relied on its vibrant art style, engaging characters, and witty storytelling—elements that resonated deeply with players. The game's success showed that a romance game could be appealing to male audiences without being overtly sexual.

However, Tokimeki Memorial 3 marked a dramatic shift, and not for the better. The game's design overhaul was so jarring that it nearly (if not completely) killed the dating sim genre. The once-beautiful, hand-drawn characters were replaced with stiff 3D models and lifeless grey box environments, making the game feel flat and unappealing. For a romance game, creating visually engaging characters is essential to draw players in and make them invest emotionally in the story. Unfortunately, Tokimeki Memorial 3 failed on this front, and its unpolished visuals and frustrating gameplay mechanics led to its commercial failure, with only 130,000 copies sold

The Challenges and Appeal of Dating Sims

Dating sims are difficult to create for several reasons. They require:

In short, dating sims are a complex blend of design elements—characters, story, mechanics, and visuals—that must all work together to create an immersive experience. The genre isn't just about “pretending to date”; it's about immersing yourself in a world where your choices shape the emotional journey of the game.

However, the genre remains niche. Even though it had a strong following in Japan in the late '90s and early 2000s, dating sims have largely failed to break through in the West. The stigma around them—often seen as “weird” or “frivolous”—has made it difficult for the genre to reach a broader audience.

As of now the dating sim genre is dead. The genre was popular in Japan during late 90s and early 2000s but it never really made it out alive, new dating sims are sparce and you will hardly ever see a big company make a romance game let alone a dating sim. The stigma around it is not great, because what kind of person wastes their time trying to get a virtual girlfriend? With an already niche audience and being considered “weird” by most, the genre doesn't stand much of a chance, which is sad because it didn't even get a real opportunity to show how diverse and unique it can be. The art elements combined with gameplay can make for beautiful storytelling and it has an audience because romance will always have an audience, what matters is the execution.

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